He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize