Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
