Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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