it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
