What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
