waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize