he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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