Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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