Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
