The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize