So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
