will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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