I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
