there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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