I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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