great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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