I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
someone owes me an orgasm
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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