You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
