Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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