At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
