This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I touched a dick in church today
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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