I'm lost and stupid without you.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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