oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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