i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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