You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
