possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
