she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
