we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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