he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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