are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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