ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Are we still banned from the library?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
