I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
