i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
