im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
