This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
