what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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