What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
