I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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