Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
