I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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