seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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