Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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