Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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