My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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