i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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