Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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