I think i peed on brittanys purse
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
love makes seman taste better
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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