I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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