Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
