Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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