you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
