What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
