I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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