He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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