I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
