Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize
