The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
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