I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
MIDGETS
????
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
