I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
