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• (586): View more from Michigan

  1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night

  (586): View more from Michigan

  2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street

  (586): View more from Michigan

  3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache

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• (631): View more from New York

  Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...

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• (940): View more from Texas

  The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?

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