I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
