Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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