I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
