I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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