How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
