He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
