I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
