so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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