Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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