I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize