he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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