Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
