all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize