it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
