i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
