So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize